JUAN IN E.U.

A one-of a kind yearbook that highlights the incredible 

stories of 100 Filipino migrants in Europe. Aptly titled 

JUAN in EU, this annual anthology culls the inspiring 

anecdotes and personal reflections of our hard 

working kababayans who have all come to love 

Europe as their land of dreams and second home. With 

pages that bream of lessons, hope and wisdom that 

could only come from the heart of the resilient 

Filipino, this annual will let you discover and celebrate 

the unique fortitude of 

JUAN DELA CRUZ THAT IS IN YOU!

As they say being a mother is the noblest profession in the world. No holidays, no salary and absolutely no resignation. I can attest to that because I for one have joined the league of motherhood seven years ago and now I am blessed with two adorable kids.  I have experienced the joys and hardships of being a mother as I struggle and toil miles away from my family in Batangas to work abroad. Being an OFW is one of the most difficult parts of it. Because I would have to leave my children behind and this put my conviction to test. With the life’s lessons I am getting from working in a foreign land, my priorities have changed dramatically. Now I put my family above all, especially my children to whom I offer all my sacrifices. I was once a girl who parties a lot like an average teenager from a long day at school. I used to hang-out with friends and stay up all night without worrying that there’s class the next day or I have work to do at the office. The thumps and jumpin-jumpin’ on the dance floor and my favorite gimmick places sometimes seem to be haunting and inviting. But the late night-outs with friends and colleagues were a thing of the past to me now. 
In fact, I wouldn’t care at all.  

My life took a big turn in 2005. Taking up Communication Arts at the University of the Philippines Los Baños that time, I had to quit studying because I got pregnant at the age of 20 and became a mother to Ashley Margarette. It was a choice I had to make, to stop schooling and work for my child. I worked in a financial institution in Alabang as a Retention Specialist and I had to shoulder all the responsibilities of raising my daughter. Even though I was earning enough money to support her, I still thought of leaving the country. I said to myself that what I’m earning was not good enough because I want the best for my child and my family.

In 2007 I resigned from work and left to Milan, Italy, with a luggage full of dreams, courage and faith. I remember clearly the day when I left Ashley Margarette who was just three years old back then. She asked why I had a big bag and I just said to her that I’m going to cover my grave yard shift at the office.

 It was on December 16, Flight Ek 0335 bound to Milan, one of the saddest days in my life, the day that I had to leave my child, so small and naive. She has to be the one to suffer the consequences of my actions and grow up without a mother on her side. Tears overflowed and there were mixed emotions.  I thought of staying but just imagining a bleak future ahead of us made me firm about my decision. Even if it breaks my heart I chose to leave. As I walked away I told myself that this was for the best. I left a promise to my daughter trying to control my tears, “Baby, Mommy will come back tapos pupunta tayo sa Disneyland pag-uwi ko.” I kissed and hugged her and hurriedly turned my back so I would not see her cry.

Love and Relationship

I did not become lucky enough with my first relationship. I learned after a few months of being away that the father of my eldest had another woman pregnant.  Immediately I decided to end things with him and moved on with my life. This is one of the consequences of being an OFW. The pain I felt that time was unbearable. But I have to be strong not only for myself but for my daughter whose future and life lies on me.

At one point in my life I thought that I won’t have the chance to get married and that I’ll live alone. I was so afraid that I might get hurt again. I can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else to love me. But to my surprise he came at the right time, the time when I was fully healed and just about ready to trust again. Another man came, a man who changed me, a man who convinced me to love again and look at the brighter side of things. August of 2010, I exchanged vows with Regen Mulingtapang after 14 years of friendship and I had my second child named Martina Amber.

Working Abroad

Life is totally different in Milan taking care of an 86-year-old woman. While I may be used to doing household chores in the Philippines changing diapers, giving bath and preparing food to old people are things I have never done before.

The sad truth is that I am taking care of strangers and make sure they live well, while I can’t even look after my kids nor make sure they’re free of mosquito bites. On my first month away, I scrambled after learning that Ashley had seizure attacks due to high fever. I cried every night and I couldn’t get decent sleep thinking how Ash was going. She often would have seizures when having a high fever. Working non-stop at an average of 10 hours a day makes me busy and helps me forget about the family I left at home. Days and weeks pass in a breeze in Italy where everyone is busy.

  

Instead of partying with friends I usually rest and kill time in bed and chat with my family in the Philippines. We do webcam chatting almost every day. This way I make sure I get to see them especially my kids who often ask where I am. When confronted by my daughter I just tell her that I am coming home soon. I always tell my eldest why I have to work far away, that it’s for them. It’s very hard to live life away from your loved ones. When every single year my daughter’s birthday wish would be that I come home so our family would be complete. “Mommy uwi ka na para one big happy family na tayo,” she tells me. It also breaks my hearts when my other daughter Martina who I left when she was just six months old calls me Mommy, smiles and sends me kisses with her cutest face on the camera. These are the moments that tears just flow down on my face.

On being a mother

Asked if I regret mothering at an early age, there were times I regretted quitting studies and starting my own family at a very young age. But I wouldn’t be as happy as now. I find genuine happiness seeing my angels grow up and thinking that soon all my sacrifices would pay off. My parents were of course disappointed when the news broke of my pregnancy. They never expected that I would get pregnant at a very young age. They have a lot of dreams for me—to graduate at UP, and get a high paying job. But the motherly work of course was not a piece of cake and it wasn’t too hard either. I find fulfillment on being a mom. I stood on my own without asking help from them. Now I want to prove them that I can raise my own children well.

Future plans

Life is good and God is great. My life right now is the result of the decisions, attitude and choices that I have made in the past. At times I may have regrets and questions. Now I just make sure things will sway to the better and soon I’ll be home with my family in our new house. Earning bigger than my paycheck back in the Philippines, I am planning to buy a house and lot, a car, and put up businesses when I get back. Re-enrolling at UP might be a consideration. In the meantime, I plan of schooling in an Italian institution so I can easily find an office work aside from teaching English to Italian kids as my part time job. Nakakabobo dito. Nasasayangan ako sa UP education ko pero wala ako magagawa kelangan kong

kumita at mag-ipon for my family. I scan the online Filipino papers, online news and surfs the Internet and often curled up in bed finding time to rekindle ties with good books. With my passion in writing, I write stories and articles about life, people and politics and share it through my personal blog, time permitting.

My priorities have been shuffled and goals have changed. So far the experience taught me things I’ll never get from UP or from any institution I’ve worked in. It has changed my perspective and attitude as a person. Now I can say that there are no regrets just learning for I wouldn’t be the person I am now if not because of what I have been through, I am stronger, wiser and a better version of myself.  I have learned well from my mistakes. My experiences have made me a better person and above all a better mother to my kids.

Your Taste Is Different As Mine

We occupy a world of choices and the choices we make define who we are. We try to fit in and we devote serious effort to achieve social importance.  The food we eat, the clothes we wear, the music we listen to, places we visit and the people we follow affect our intellectual activity and the way we live our lives.  Are we in actual existence or are we becoming fine copy cats in a domain full of pretense, inequality and disgrace? Each one of us enjoys freedom but not everybody live through the same privileges.  We are enslaved to materialism and earthy pleasures that we lose our own definition as human beings.

Our society can be classified into three, the UPPER class, MIDDLE class and the LOWER class.  People who are born with silver spoons in their mouths, those who do not worry of tomorrow because they have all the money they would ever need. Filthy rich individuals who maintain a high status in the society and most of them are in the business sector, some in politics, media or just plain rich folks belong to the upper class. There are countless who dream of having their lives but on the other hand much of them prefer of having a trouble-free and an uncomplicated way of living. They remain rich or become even richer because of their principles or simply because of their money making skills. But there are also those who become rich through their wicked activities. Then there’s the middle class, the mediocre, the common people. They work for a living and have enough to spend on what they need.  Sometimes they may find their way up or even down but there are those who are just fine being at this level.  But there are also people below, those who belong in the lower class who are deprived of a lot of things. Food, shelter, clothing are just among the basics which are very hard for them to acquire. They define poverty.  You see them on the streets, in the slums and almost everywhere because there’s just too many of them.

But what does this tell us? Getting rich and wanting to get richer with awful means, taking advantage of people with the use of money and power, exploiting natural and human resources for selfish motives, being in debt just to have that glamorous lifestyle or if not struggling just have that social spot.  Is securing a place in the society or trying to fit in the righteous thing to do rather than living with full simplicity and contentment? Is it a crime to be poor and lack social class? Is it a mortal sin if one cannot drink an overpriced coffee, or eat in a fancy restaurant, buy himself a top of the line mobile phone, wear designer clothes, or walk on expensive shoes? 

We maybe of different statuses in life, with different priorities, tastes, responsibilities, goals, opinions and beliefs but let us not forget in the end we won’t be judged through what we have become or who we were. It will be based on how well we have lived our lives. We tend to forget our purpose in life because we focus on competition and definition and can’t decide on who or what we should be.  The purpose of life is to live it. Be determined to live for something not just for yourself and your own well-being. Remember to respect people, be responsible of your actions, know right from wrong, and do a reality check that life is not always on your favor. Today you are rich but tomorrow you may be not. There are so many things in this world that we can’t control. But it is important to remember the things that we can. What we do, what we say and what we think.

Tattoo:From Anti-Social to Mainstream

There is always a stigma attached to people with tattoos. Some are mistaken to be drug addicts, in a gang, engaged in illegal activity or convicts. I remember a quote that says ‎"The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who have tattoos and those who are afraid of people with tattoos”. Some enjoy art on their walls in their home, yet disapprove of people who express the art they enjoy on their bodies.  People will never change the way they approach or judge them. They're a part of a whole group of diverse individuals who have multitudes of reasons of having a tattoo. Other countries don't really bat an eye at the things people obsess about like tattoo.  With the decision to get tattooed, one has to look objectively and understand that there are those who just don't understand it. Some people still see those individuals with tattoos as "low class". There is no legitimate reason to think that. These individuals choose to modify their bodies the way they want them to be but there are still a few who just forget about individualism and are happier to be a clone of society. We are not all the same and should express ourselves one way or another. In some cases the people who end up hating are sometimes the ones who only see the poorly done basement tattoos or have received those, they never are really exposed to the beautifully done personal sentimental ones that take time, thought, skill, and imagination to create.

Isobel Varley-Most Tattooed Woman in the World

I think that in this day and age that we would go beyond even having this discussion about tattoo's cultural phenomenon. Just because someone has ink it doesn't classify them as bad people. It should be accepted to a certain point. People who sit in judgment of others who have tattoos need to rethink. We have the freedom to express ourselves. Tattoos aren't for everyone but one must not judge on skin color. Tattoos don't make you bad person, those who have them chose to be that way knowing how society feels on the subject. Not because a lot of people don't like them mean that they're a disease. We have our differences and that's what makes us unique.

Tattoos have been around for thousands of years and it has entered the mainstream of society. It is more common than ever and is being accepted as a new generation moving into positions of power and authority. It’s a form of art and self-expression and they usually mean something to each person who gets them. The world is just now becoming more accepting of tattoos in everyday life.  Tattoos are scars with better stories. It is art pure and simple, but so much harder to create. Because this is not like some oil and canvas or some pencil sketch, this is going to be carried on a person for the rest of their lives, flesh, bone, and blood. You must be very careful in choosing tattoos because it will forever be a part of you.

(Article published 2012/03/14 at Definitely Filipino Blog)

http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2012/03/14/tattoo-from-anti-social-to-mainstream/

Inizia-Start-Umpisa

Through this blog I wish to express what I feel on things that are essential to me and the people around me. I want to be in a level where I am heard, where my opinions can be valued and where my points of view can come across.  How do I describe myself? A freelance journalist, caregiver, tutor, blogger and a mother. Among these, the last is the most fulfilling. The rest are just job descriptions. Welcome to MYE Blog and with the next entries you will be reading MYE Points of View.