JUAN IN E.U.

A one-of a kind yearbook that highlights the incredible 

stories of 100 Filipino migrants in Europe. Aptly titled 

JUAN in EU, this annual anthology culls the inspiring 

anecdotes and personal reflections of our hard 

working kababayans who have all come to love 

Europe as their land of dreams and second home. With 

pages that bream of lessons, hope and wisdom that 

could only come from the heart of the resilient 

Filipino, this annual will let you discover and celebrate 

the unique fortitude of 

JUAN DELA CRUZ THAT IS IN YOU!

As they say being a mother is the noblest profession in the world. No holidays, no salary and absolutely no resignation. I can attest to that because I for one have joined the league of motherhood seven years ago and now I am blessed with two adorable kids.  I have experienced the joys and hardships of being a mother as I struggle and toil miles away from my family in Batangas to work abroad. Being an OFW is one of the most difficult parts of it. Because I would have to leave my children behind and this put my conviction to test. With the life’s lessons I am getting from working in a foreign land, my priorities have changed dramatically. Now I put my family above all, especially my children to whom I offer all my sacrifices. I was once a girl who parties a lot like an average teenager from a long day at school. I used to hang-out with friends and stay up all night without worrying that there’s class the next day or I have work to do at the office. The thumps and jumpin-jumpin’ on the dance floor and my favorite gimmick places sometimes seem to be haunting and inviting. But the late night-outs with friends and colleagues were a thing of the past to me now. 
In fact, I wouldn’t care at all.  

My life took a big turn in 2005. Taking up Communication Arts at the University of the Philippines Los Baños that time, I had to quit studying because I got pregnant at the age of 20 and became a mother to Ashley Margarette. It was a choice I had to make, to stop schooling and work for my child. I worked in a financial institution in Alabang as a Retention Specialist and I had to shoulder all the responsibilities of raising my daughter. Even though I was earning enough money to support her, I still thought of leaving the country. I said to myself that what I’m earning was not good enough because I want the best for my child and my family.

In 2007 I resigned from work and left to Milan, Italy, with a luggage full of dreams, courage and faith. I remember clearly the day when I left Ashley Margarette who was just three years old back then. She asked why I had a big bag and I just said to her that I’m going to cover my grave yard shift at the office.

 It was on December 16, Flight Ek 0335 bound to Milan, one of the saddest days in my life, the day that I had to leave my child, so small and naive. She has to be the one to suffer the consequences of my actions and grow up without a mother on her side. Tears overflowed and there were mixed emotions.  I thought of staying but just imagining a bleak future ahead of us made me firm about my decision. Even if it breaks my heart I chose to leave. As I walked away I told myself that this was for the best. I left a promise to my daughter trying to control my tears, “Baby, Mommy will come back tapos pupunta tayo sa Disneyland pag-uwi ko.” I kissed and hugged her and hurriedly turned my back so I would not see her cry.

Love and Relationship

I did not become lucky enough with my first relationship. I learned after a few months of being away that the father of my eldest had another woman pregnant.  Immediately I decided to end things with him and moved on with my life. This is one of the consequences of being an OFW. The pain I felt that time was unbearable. But I have to be strong not only for myself but for my daughter whose future and life lies on me.

At one point in my life I thought that I won’t have the chance to get married and that I’ll live alone. I was so afraid that I might get hurt again. I can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else to love me. But to my surprise he came at the right time, the time when I was fully healed and just about ready to trust again. Another man came, a man who changed me, a man who convinced me to love again and look at the brighter side of things. August of 2010, I exchanged vows with Regen Mulingtapang after 14 years of friendship and I had my second child named Martina Amber.

Working Abroad

Life is totally different in Milan taking care of an 86-year-old woman. While I may be used to doing household chores in the Philippines changing diapers, giving bath and preparing food to old people are things I have never done before.

The sad truth is that I am taking care of strangers and make sure they live well, while I can’t even look after my kids nor make sure they’re free of mosquito bites. On my first month away, I scrambled after learning that Ashley had seizure attacks due to high fever. I cried every night and I couldn’t get decent sleep thinking how Ash was going. She often would have seizures when having a high fever. Working non-stop at an average of 10 hours a day makes me busy and helps me forget about the family I left at home. Days and weeks pass in a breeze in Italy where everyone is busy.

  

Instead of partying with friends I usually rest and kill time in bed and chat with my family in the Philippines. We do webcam chatting almost every day. This way I make sure I get to see them especially my kids who often ask where I am. When confronted by my daughter I just tell her that I am coming home soon. I always tell my eldest why I have to work far away, that it’s for them. It’s very hard to live life away from your loved ones. When every single year my daughter’s birthday wish would be that I come home so our family would be complete. “Mommy uwi ka na para one big happy family na tayo,” she tells me. It also breaks my hearts when my other daughter Martina who I left when she was just six months old calls me Mommy, smiles and sends me kisses with her cutest face on the camera. These are the moments that tears just flow down on my face.

On being a mother

Asked if I regret mothering at an early age, there were times I regretted quitting studies and starting my own family at a very young age. But I wouldn’t be as happy as now. I find genuine happiness seeing my angels grow up and thinking that soon all my sacrifices would pay off. My parents were of course disappointed when the news broke of my pregnancy. They never expected that I would get pregnant at a very young age. They have a lot of dreams for me—to graduate at UP, and get a high paying job. But the motherly work of course was not a piece of cake and it wasn’t too hard either. I find fulfillment on being a mom. I stood on my own without asking help from them. Now I want to prove them that I can raise my own children well.

Future plans

Life is good and God is great. My life right now is the result of the decisions, attitude and choices that I have made in the past. At times I may have regrets and questions. Now I just make sure things will sway to the better and soon I’ll be home with my family in our new house. Earning bigger than my paycheck back in the Philippines, I am planning to buy a house and lot, a car, and put up businesses when I get back. Re-enrolling at UP might be a consideration. In the meantime, I plan of schooling in an Italian institution so I can easily find an office work aside from teaching English to Italian kids as my part time job. Nakakabobo dito. Nasasayangan ako sa UP education ko pero wala ako magagawa kelangan kong

kumita at mag-ipon for my family. I scan the online Filipino papers, online news and surfs the Internet and often curled up in bed finding time to rekindle ties with good books. With my passion in writing, I write stories and articles about life, people and politics and share it through my personal blog, time permitting.

My priorities have been shuffled and goals have changed. So far the experience taught me things I’ll never get from UP or from any institution I’ve worked in. It has changed my perspective and attitude as a person. Now I can say that there are no regrets just learning for I wouldn’t be the person I am now if not because of what I have been through, I am stronger, wiser and a better version of myself.  I have learned well from my mistakes. My experiences have made me a better person and above all a better mother to my kids.

Not Just One But Two

Let me just share my own story on taking chances, relationships and finding true love.

Image via Google

Not Just One But Two

Love is the most complicated thing in the world. When it hits you, you just don’t know what to do.  You fall in love and feel like everything is on a platter and think that you could not do anything under its spell. But sometimes it will test you. Love is not guaranteed. You will get your heart-broken and start to believe that there is no true love. But true love may come more than once. When you get it you will hold on to it for life.

Strike One  I fell in love at a young age and I always have to disobey my parents back then.  It was with the first time that I became totally insane. I built my world around him. I thought that there’s nobody else but just him.  My mom was not around and growing not too close with my father, I enjoyed all the freedom. I became too careless and irresponsible. I got pregnant. I was confused because I was very young. I was still in school and my boyfriend is not capable to raise a family yet. All I know that time is I’m keeping the baby. I won’t lose the child and I’ll do whatever it takes to give her the life she deserves.  With that being said it was only me who did everything for our daughter. The father of my child did not take the responsibility. But because I love him, I was the one who had to work for the three of us.  I went to work overseas and left my daughter with him. I easily got a job and was able to send money for them.  Just a few months it reached me that he had another woman pregnant. So I decided to take everything away from him including my daughter. I was just lucky that I was not married to him. It was easy to leave him in that sense but the pain he caused to me and my daughter was unbearable.

Life has to move on for us. I had to leave my daughter again and while away I had many questions and fears. Can I do it all by myself? Will she grow up not asking of her father or will she feel the emptiness of growing without one? How can I explain why her father left us? Will my love just be enough for her to forget what happened?  Years passed and little by little I have learned to accept the truth that there are people who are just not meant to stay in your life. I also found the courage to tell my daughter the truth. I knew that she wouldn’t fully understand and I did not want to torture her but I would not want to keep her away from the things that she should know. I am lucky to have a smart daughter. She said that it’s ok and what’s important is we still have each other.

Strike Two At one point in my life I thought that I won’t have the chance to get married and that I’ll grow old alone. I was so afraid that I might get hurt once more. I can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love me. But to my surprise he came at the right time, the time when I was fully healed and just about ready to trust again. Another man came, a man who changed me, a man who convinced me to love again and look at the brighter side of things. We knew each other for many years and did not even think that we’d really end up together. I admired him since then but when we got together, he told me that he liked me even before but was hesitant because he is older than me. Fourteen years passed before we knew what our true feelings are for each other. He came to me several days before my departure going back to work again.  The spark was there already. It came very easy. He asked and I answered right away. He said he will wait until I come back.  We had a long distance relationship. But just a month after, he proposed and took it to another level.  I went back after a year and then we tied the knot. What was amazing is even before his parents met me, he already took responsibility of my daughter. He brought her to live with them and treated my child like their own.  We had our second child right after the marriage.  Everything fell into place. I now have a partner to share the joys of life. Someone who will help me raise our kids, someone who will be there with me in times of trouble, someone who will never leave me, someone who will love me and grow old with me.

Not just one but two. There are two men who have been a part of my life and to whom I am both thankful for.  Why both?  If  the first did not screw up I wouldn’t have met the second.  Everything happens for a reason as they say. There’s a reason why the first left me. When someone leaves, someone better is bound to come. Exactly what happened after the first cheated, I found the person who I’ll spend the rest of my life with.   If not because of the first I would not have had my eldest daughter, my daughter who has been my source of pride and strength. As for the second, words are not enough for me to thank him. I owe him the realization that I can feel again, live again and love again. He might not be the first but what’s important is he’ll be my last. He could have had a woman who is single and without any extra luggage but still he took the more complex life of being with me.  The second time will not be the first time. The first was a dream, the second is reality. My feelings for my husband right now are real and genuine as they are tempered by the lessons I learned from my first relationship. I became a newer version of myself with my second and I would like to stay like this forever.

Not just one but two. I do not only have one but I have two beautiful daughters from two different fathers. I am not in any way ashamed of it. I wouldn’t be the person I am now if not because of what I have been through.  I am stronger, wiser and tougher.  I have learned well from my mistakes. My experiences have made me a better person and above all a better mother to my kids